I have been abroad before, and I have been to China several times, but it wasn’t until this trip that I came to realize how very different the people and cultures of different countries can be. Sadly, many of these differences come across as something bad, when, just like we learned from shows like Barney and Arthur, they are simply something we are unfamiliar with and likely do not understand.
The primary difference between China and America partly stems, I think, from the population problem. There are so many people here, and they quickly learn that a little elbowing others in the ribs (literally and figuratively) is required in order to get by. Also, Chinese schools tend to place less emphasis on teamwork, and the One Child Policy has made it less likely for China’s younger generation to have learned to share with and work together with their siblings. All in all, Chinese people tend to be much more aggressive than Americans. They sail in front of others who have been waiting in line, shout over others in order to be heard, and often force their way through crowds. One rarely sees Chinese people saying, “Dui bu qi,” (Excuse me) to each other as they shove past each other on the subway. Vendors also have a tendency to come right up to their customers, bellowing about their products and competitive prices.
This aggressiveness and an accompanying disregard for the rules contribute greatly to China’s most famous hazard: traffic. In China, people drive very quickly and with, it seems, little concern for pedestrians and bikers. They are liberal with the horn and have a tendency to weave through traffic and rush past lights. My own uncle is an absolute terror to drive with, particularly on winding, foggy mountain roads, which he takes at at least 6o mph with no headlights and a strange lack of awareness of which lane he should be in.
In China, whether you are in a mall or on the road, it is every man for himself. That being said, learn quickly that manners here are very different from manners in America. (I will say this now, I do not pretend to be an expert; these are the conclusions I have drawn from my own experiences here) Our idea of good manners is holding open doors, saying, “Excuse me,” and paying general respects to everyone, even strangers. In China, people often will say that manners are much more important, but what goes unsaid is that this is primarily toward figures of authority. Young men will take empty subway seats when middle-aged women are standing with bags in their arms, and few people will apologize for anything less than tripping you or making you drop something (meaning pushing, shoving, and shouting in your ear are all fair game). But many Chinese people will be humble and obedient in the presence of a teacher or an older relative, or at least will know that such behavior is expected of them.
So learn not to be offended when someone cuts in front of you in the post office because you stepped up a second too late, and try not to resent the drivers who honk wildly at you just for being in the lane next to them. They’ve grown up in an entirely different culture, which upholds values quite different than the ones deemed important in America. In China, let “patience” be your watchword, and learn to do a little elbowing yourself.
